Greenland's Letters to the World
by LiLiKun18
Summary: Based on the lovely "America's Letters to the World" that triggered this great phenomenon. Send and Receive letters from Greenland, a bland and mopey country who spends most of her time freezing in the arctic. She greatly appreciates the company.
1. Introduction

My Dear World,

It has become so painstakingly apparent that my fellow countries have opened up there letters for the general public to read.

After a lot (and I mean a lot) of persuasion, I have decided to do the same thing.

I'm already regretting it...

I am Greenland by the way, or Renette Ericson, whichever suits your fancy. (Though I won't tolerate any ridiculous nicknames!) My life is not very interesting, so why anyone would read this is beyond me.

Feel free to send me any letter that you please, (though please keep it decent, and abstain from vulgarities.)

That is all I care to say.

Thank You

-Greenland


	2. I don't have a name 1

Why are you so lonely? Don't other countries like you?

-I don't have a name

* * *

Dear you who has no name,

I am not lonely, I require no company. It's not my fault the other countries think my house is too cold, or that it's too far. They just can't appreciate it.

Although it would be nice if someone could come out here and visit me once in a while.

Someone other than Denmark...

Sincerely

Greenland


	3. Denmark 1

Dear Greenland,

Well then seeing as though you don't like my company I'll just send America over, because you seem to like him better then me. I can hang with Norway at least he likes me.

Med venlig hilsen

Mathias Køhler "Denmark"

* * *

Dear Denmark,

No! Anyone but America!

You dimwit, it's not that I don't enjoy your company! You're just terrible at actually coming to visit.

Seriously! You say 'Yeah I'll come by Tuesday' and then I don't hear from you for five years! And when you do show up you always make a big mess!

You Nordics! You think you can just leave me over here? Treat your big sister with some respect!

Sincerely

Greenland

(P.S. You left your axe over here, if you don't come and get it I'm tossing it into the ocean.)


	4. Manitoba 1

Salut Greenland!

I'm Manitoba, Canadas son and one of his provinces! I look 15, brunette and have big brown eyes, (and my family calls me feminine *pouts.)

I haven't seen you in a long time, since like a hundred years! I'm bored at my place so how is it going at yours? Yeah, I know Uncle Denmark can be annoying and a total drunkard. But you have to live with it somehow.

That's all for now.

Peace Out

Miguel Manitoba Williams

(P.S. Do you technically count as my uncle or aunt?)

* * *

Dear Manitoba,

Wow it has been a while. I still can't believe Canada has territories now. I can remember when he used to be that little country who hid in the bushes whenever I came over. (Until he got America to beat me up and send me home.)

Have you grown much since I saw you last?

Not much going on here either, unless you like fishing.

Denmark just needs to be more responsible and actually start paying attention to what he's doing! Then maybe he wouldn't be so annoying.

Hope you are doing well,

Greenland

(P.S. I'm your aunt I suppose,)


	5. Denmark 2

Dear Greenland,

Well I'm sorry Germany asked me over. God you're always saying how I should make 'alliances', its not my fault Germany took me over. You know its going to  
hurt America's feelings if you say that.

-.-' that's it if you don't get over that one time I'm not coming over anymore.

Also thats exactly why the others don't even bother coming, you play the 'I'm your big sister' card.

Med venlig hilsen

Mathias Køhler "Denmark" (P.S. If you do I will tell Iceland that your country is nothing but Ice.)

* * *

Dear Denmark,

You could've at least told me you were going to be late! Instead of letting that moron barge into my country and mention that you were busy waiting on Germany. By the way, I never asked but how did it feel having to kiss up to him? If we were back in the old days you could've told him you were friends with me and he would've run off screaming. Why did the Vikings die out?

I don't care if it hurts his feelings! He does nothing but walk all over me! Even when he was little he was a pain!

Hey! I am your big sis! It's not a card I play, it's the truth! You should respect me! I used to have all of Europe under my thumb, and I didn't even live there!

By the way! We were supposed to go fishing yesterday and you didn't show up...again!

With all of my disdain

Greenland

(P.S. You wouldn't dare!)


	6. Czech Republic 1

Hey Greenland!

I'm Czech Republic, I'll be your friend!

...do YOU like your cold home?

which country do you hate the most?

* * *

Dear Czech Republic,

Hello,

While I greatly appreciate the fact that you have offered to be my friend, I have looked at a map and found that our countries are quite a few miles apart. I don't think you will be able to visit me over here, but I am happy to be your friend all the same.

My home is that cold! It gets to be about 50 degrees in the heat of summer! Plus with all this global warming, it'll be a tropical paradise before you know it!

I hate that stupid Iceland! He pushed me around and then kicks me out of his house! The nerve! My country is better than his any day. Sure it isn't as pretty or as rich, or as independent, and yeah he has all those friends while the only person who hangs out with me is Denmark...But I'm the stronger one! And one of these days I whip his sissy butt and show him who's boss.

Sincerely

Greenland


	7. Stratford 1

Dear Renette,

I am Stratford upon Avon, one of england's towns, and I thought it might be nice to talk to a female for once (Birmingham is female, but she's alway's really busy and loud and last time I visited her I got overwhelmed and nearly fainted)

So nice to meet you! You can call me Lizzy or Lizzie, or if you want to become a member of the 'Other sex name club' then call me trevor.

How cold are you at the moment? The heating keeps going off in my house so I'm pretty cold. (My big sister solihull keeps coming and stealing stuff from me too)

If you need any help getting a date then I can sort that out (not in that way) the Cotswolds have some really nice guys in. Borton on the Water can be a jerk, but the rest are as lively and lovely as they get.

I've got to go now, London is coming past in her stupid high heels and froufrou skirt, so I need to go push her over and jump on her.

With much violence,

Lizzy

(P.S. If you don't understand why I would want to kill London, listen up. She steals all the limelight when I was the one who had Shakespeare first. The globe theatre may well be in london, dammit, but shakespeare is MINE!)

* * *

Dear Stratford,

Nice to meet you as well. Your friend Birmingham sounds a lot like America.

I see your point, because I also rarely receive female company. I think I'll just call you Stratford, I have a hard time getting on first name bases with people.

It's not that cold...Right now it's about -20 degrees fahrenheit, that's not that cold is it?

Thank you for the offer, but I am fine on my own right now.

Oh...Alright then, good luck with that.

Sincerely

Greenland

(P.S. While I don't know who Shakespeare is, I do know about London. I used to pillage the English tribes all the time. Those were good times)


	8. Stratford 2

Dear Greenland,

I understand about the first name thing. I'll call you Greenland then.

Shakespeare is the most well known playwright of all time. He wrote Romeo and Juliet, Macbeth, A Midsummer Night's Dream etc.

I think I'm going to go remind London about the pillaging. She needs to get back into touch with her wild side.

I use celsius so I'm not sure whether that is hot or cold...It's nice to make a new female friend,

-Stratford (not to be confused with the Stratford in London, America or Canada(blech Justin 'I'm amazing' Bieber)

(P.S. what do you look like? I have long blonde hair, same shade as England, slightly wavy, blue eyes and normal eyebrows. I'm kinda short. I've been getting back pains recently (it must be my age... I'm older than Germany) and they really are a bother.)

* * *

Dear Stratford,

I see, perhaps you could send me some of his works sometime.

Well in celsius that would be about -30 degrees, but that still isn't that cold.

It's nice to have a female friend too.

-Greenland

(P.S. Who is Justin Bieber?)

(P.S.S. You want to know what I look like? Well umm...I look very much like my brother Iceland, but I am a girl so I'm different...I don't know how to describe it to you...sorry)


	9. Denmark 3

Greenland,

How could I have told you Greenland? I did not wait on Germany, I was a guest who couldn't leave...

How did it feel to have to have America protecting you?

When where these 'old days' last time I check you where founded then got kicked out of Iceland's house and then I had to take care of you. They died  
out, who knows why. Also why do you always do the hole 'in the old days speech' we're passed that now.

... Why are you so mean to America, he just wants to help. Your insane you never had Europe under your thumb.

I believe we are supposed to go to tomorrow. Wow you have lost it haven't you?

Aww love you to sis,

Denmark

(P.S. Try me)

* * *

Denmark,

Haven't you ever heard of "One Phone CALL!" I bet you called Norway didn't you? And that is not what Finland told me. He told me you were giving Germany foot massages! FOOT MASSAGES!

And I didn't need protecting! No one ever attacks me! It's not like could anyway. I'm colder than Russia and 85% of my country is made of rock!

That's right, you wouldn't remember the good old viking days. Mostly because you were busy buying real estate from England! Do you have no shame!

I dislike him, because every time he comes over, he talks and talks and talks until my ears bleed. And then he turns my fish into fish sticks, dumps them in ketchup and proceeds to tell me stories about England and bunny rabbits. Plus he's trying to stop global warming.

I haven't lost it, you just got drunk again and forgot! You know, maybe you could invite me over to your house once in a while. Then we'll see who's late.

Drop Dead

Greenland

(P.S. I'll bring it with me if you invite me!)


	10. Alaska 1

Um, Hello...

H-Hi Ms. Greenland. Are you d-doing fine?

Um, I...I was wondering if maybe I could visit, if your lonely?

Also, why don't you and Papa get along? Sorry! If you don't want to, you don't  
have to tell me!

Sincerely,

Alaska

* * *

Dear Alaska,

Yes I am doing very fine.

If you would like to come over, you may. (Though the walk would be a little long)

I dislike your father because I find him a bit too peppy for my liking. He also took control of my country for a good five years, which wasn't a very enjoyable experience. That, and he talks too much.

I look forward to hearing from you sweetheart.

-Greenland.


	11. Denmark 4

Dear sis,

Why is that a big deal? Norway was closer. So people in Germany give others foot massages all the time, at least that's what Germany said.

You could be attacked by anyone if they remembered that you where there, but because its just America and I that remembers you don't have to worry.

So it was a good business deal, and last time I checked you got deserted on an island and I didn't.

Sis, global warming is bad and at least he is some company. Would you rather have Iceland over? I think he would come if you asked.

I am not drunk...

Again love you too sis,

Denmark

P.S. If you can get here you can stay, but you have to be nice to Norway.

* * *

Denmark,

If you had called me, I could've escaped to Canada before America got there. What did Norway do? Oh right! He got captured by Germany. You Europeans are pathetic.

Hey! Don't talk about me like I'm insignificant! And for your information, my country is pretty freaking big. The only Island bigger than me is Australia! I'm much bigger than that pathetic square you call a country. Even Italy has more land than you! Hows that for real-estate?

Bad for you maybe! I may actually get to see what summer looks like. And you know what! Yeah! I'd love to have that idiotic brat over here so I can put him in his place and get my revenge.

Jerk!

-Greenland.

(P.S. Well in that case I'll get packing, see ya soon.)


	12. Alaska 2

Hello,

I don't mind the walk, r-really. And I am glad you are okay.

Yes...Papa can be...very sociable, i-if you want to put it lightly. Hawaii and Texas aren't much better.

Sometimes they're a bit sc-scary. I'm a bit used to silence, so visiting Papa...eh...

'S-Sweetheart'? Eh...!

Sincerely,

Alaska

* * *

Dear Alaska,

If you don't mind then I guess it's ok, and thank you.

I know what you mean, living out in the arctic certainly makes one appreciate good company, so long as it really is _good _company.

If they bother you too much you can come over here and be my territory. Once Norway lets me have my army and my battle axe back no one will bother me.

Hm? You don't mind that do you. Sorry, you're right. You're a big kid so I probably shouldn't be using pet names.

Sincerely,

Greenland


	13. Manitoba 2

Bonjour aunty!

I'm doing well at my place but why do I have to go to school AGAIN? I finshed it back in the 1920s, well not exactley. There was a war going on and my school caught on fire. But why did dad bring this up now? It is so not fair! Can you just be my tutor instead?

Anyway , it is spring break soon and Im wondering if you want to come over and you and the whole family is going to great wolf lodge water park together? It'll be fun! I mean it is so cold at ur place so come over! Denmark won't be there!

Peace out

Miguel Manitoba Williams

* * *

Manitoba,

You don't have to call me aunty, you can just call me Greenland.

If your going to be a power in the world you need to be slightly educated. I wish I could be your tutor, but I don't think Canada would like that. Also the only things I could probably teach you are viking combat lessons, and how to fish. I don't think either of those would be very useful for a little guy like you. You could ask Norway though, he tutored me when I was little.

Eh? You're really inviting me? Well I don't know, It definitely be nice to see Canada again, as long as he doesn't bring his dumb brother. I'll think about it.

Sincerely,

Greenland

* * *

**BTW I am so sorry these updates took so long. Fanfiction broke down on Hetalia stuff so I had to wait until it started functioning.**


	14. Denmark 5

Dear Greenland,

And leave my big sister unprotected! Never! You do realize that you are European to right... I don't care how many times you say your not you are.

Oh, I suppose your right, but your not a continent like Australia though. I'm not a square! I also have a very good city thank you very much.

If you want to see summer all you have to do is come visit... and I'll tell Iceland that he can come over! He'll be so happy! I don't think he will like the revenge thing but as long as your nice to him I bet he will even come back!

That is just rude sister,

Denmark

P.S. I guess I'll go tell Norway your coming to visit

* * *

Denmark,

North American sweet heart, check your geography, and I don't need protecting! Like anyone would attack Greenland anyway, nobody lives here really. Plus I'm not sure what they'd gain...besides fish.

HEY! The I'm just a couple square miles short of that sucker! Plus I don't have those embarrassing thick eyebrows. All you got is that little slip you stole from Prussia. I could've run Prussia back in the old days. The first time we fought that little albino almost wet himself.

Like there's summer in Denmark, your almost as cold as I am. And That Iceland is going to get what he had coming to him for one thousand years. NO MERCY!

Greenland

(P.S. If you forget to pick me up I'll tell Norway about who it was that 'accidentally' caused that major avalanche)


	15. Denmark 6

Dear Greenland

Whatever I'll see you soon. I'll be near the doors of the airport okay?

Your loving brother,

Denmark

(P.S. God I left you one time, let it go...)

* * *

Dearest Denmark,

I hate you! Out of all the terrible things you've done that was the worst! Why would you treat me like that in front of all the other nordics.

I hope Norway conquers you someday, and then sells you to France.

Jerk Jerk Jerk!

-Greenland


	16. Alaska I

Hello Mistress Greenland Sir!

I Heared from Alaska that you were loney and accepting letters!

So i thought i'd send you some~

Woah, are you really older then Sir Germany? Y-you do like Prussia, right? C-cuz he's awesome! Oh, and if you want you can come over and visit! You can help with the harvest! West-Berlin is helping me too~ I think you'd get along with Richie! Ah! But he doesn't like people calling him that, he prefers Henrich, the wierdo~ And you can teach me about your culture and tell stories! Oooh, what is your favorite kind of fish? And the way to prepare it? Is fish your favorite food? Cuz corn is mine!

Signed,

Alaska

(P.S. Sorry for that...I like talking to new people)

* * *

Dear Alaska,

Please just Greenland, no need to add on things like Mistress or Sir.

Why does everyone think I'm lonely! I'm not! I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact I let Norway write the description on my inbox.

As a matter of fact I am older than both of them. I apologize, but Prussia has always been a bit annoying in my opinion. Seriously, his whole teutonic knights period? What was that anyway.

West Berlin huh? I used to pillage that place. Good times...

Uh...My favorite fish? To be honest, I really don't like fish. In fact I really hate it. Put it's either that or I eat rocks, which would suck. My favorite food is actually seal meat, but it's illegal to eat those now so oh well.

Sincerely

Greenland

(P.S. It's alright, I enjoy the effort. Say hello to your sister for me.)


	17. Spain 1

Spain

Greenland

HOLA! :D How're you? It's nice to hear from you! I hope Denmark isn't smothering you too much.

If you ever need some place warm to stay, come stay in Madrid!

Hope to hear back!

* * *

Dear Spain,

Yes, it is Greenland.

As a matter of fact he is being very annoying. I got to go on vacation to his place last week, but he ruined the whole trip. God I hate him.

Thanks but no thanks, I've had enough vacations for a while.

-Greenland

(P.S. Next time you see America, please tell him I want my fishing boat back, and no he can't keep it.)


	18. Denmark 7

Greenland,

Your the one who threw a pan at Iceland! And I told you not to hurt Norway but you tackled him to the ground anyway. The only way we where going to leave the restaurant with out the police is if I said you weren't used to people (which is true by the way). I'm sorry that you where embarrassed but come on Greenie it was the only way to get you out of getting sent to jail.

If he does the only one to protect you is America, and I will tell him that you need help...

love you too sis,

Denmark

* * *

Denmark,

I was provoked! The idiot kept talking about his tourists and his pretty warm weather and all that crap! Alright? I snapped!

And Norway deserved it just as much as Iceland did. He said that...Nevermind.

But yeah! He totally deserved it!

I'm the Republic of Greenland! They can't send a whole country to Jail.

Don't call me Greenie, and I don't need America's help on anything.

-Greenland.


End file.
